I posted this in Craigslist Missed Connections, but it has since expired. I got quite a few compliments on it, so I thought I would re-post it here. And yes, it’s true.
Anonymous Mower of My Lawn
Me: Young female living in a crappy house with an even shittier landlord.
You: Neighbor presumably, with a gas-powered lawnmower that does not have a bag attached.
I came home on a Tuesday evening a couple weeks ago to discover that someone had pity-mowed my “lawn” (you know, because you thought that we were incapable of mowing it ourselves) and was kind enough to leave all of the grass clippings there. Maybe in case we wanted it for mulch…because we clearly do a lot of gardening. I was very upset about this at the time because you didn’t leave a note and we had to rake up all of the grass clippings, which was a bitch because our lawn is 90% weed and 10% grass, which means that all of those dried clippings were stuck in the weeds. I mean, it’s not like we could have hidden a car in there, it had just been like two weeks. BUT YOU DID IT ON A WEEKNIGHT! What the hell?! Did you expect one of us to battle the mosquitos in the middle of the summer, just to mow the “lawn” during the week because it was starting to look a little shabby?!
Anyway, I’m posting this because I want you to come back. Yes, I am sick and tired of mowing my own “lawn” and trying to get the 2 other people who live in the house to use the push mower (yes, push mower) to mow our weeds. So, if you’re reading this, please stop by sometime with your lovely gas-powered mower and help a girl out. You can leave the grass clippings this time, too.